I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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