Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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