I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
