she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
