i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
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handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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