Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
