Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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