Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
