Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
