How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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