and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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