I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
