i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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