How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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