I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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