i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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