So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize