I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
