the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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