We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
