You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
