you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
