What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize