The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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