i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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