I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
