My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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