You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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