honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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