Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
