it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
