the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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