Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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