Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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