You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
