and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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