Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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