I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
