How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
