The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
