____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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