dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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