Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize