I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The best revenge is premature balding
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Randomize
