I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
