Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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