That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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