what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
