I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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