I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wish my penis had a tongue
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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