She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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