farters have to be the big spoon...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
