Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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