New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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