this boner is exhausting
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
