Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
