Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
