We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
