One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
