I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
