Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Randomize
