is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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