Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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