So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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