when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
