Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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