Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
