Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
