I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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