Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
