You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
