Non-Jews are for practice
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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