I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
