dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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