You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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